Setting a routine

I've been wanting to sleep train Rachael but I realised that it is really difficult and needs a lot of consistency and support from family members. I really wonder how my friend did it all on her own. 

She slept really well one night and was fussy the other. There's no routine in our daily lives. Sometimes, it's peace and quiet. Other times, there's noise and stimulation. When can we ever get it right? When can she stop waking up at 3am to drink milk? 

Fail to plan, plan to fail. With a plan, I still fail! Rachael doesn't play according to the plan! After feeding her, she refused to sleep and I can't pump... After soothing her to sleep, I started pumping and the noise woke her up. Now I have to resort to pumping in the living room. 

So well, I can pump before feeding her right? No, then she will wake up before the time is up. What should I do? 

I'm feeling frustrated over the inconsistency of this whole plan. Well, you may say I need to be flexible also. Play according to ear. However, it's not such a great feeling when the breasts are in pain waiting for milk to come forth. And it certainly doesn't help when all these little delays here and there are causing lumps to form. I've wasted my $150 on a massage to get rid of lumps and increase my supply only to get all these lumps back. It's all the pain put to waste. Yes, the massage was very painful and I suffered for three days. 

And just because I was so tired, I overslept and didn't pump for 5h, I was down with engorgement and fever on Sunday. The supply of milk drop drastically because of this one stupid fever and it never go up after that. 

Oh God! Why do we have to go through all these pain and hassle? Didn't Jesus already took away all the pain and curses on the cross? Why is life of a mum so difficult? 

I guess, it's time to be back to power pumping again. Sigh! The tedious cycle repeats.